Don't knock it till you try it: one-piece swimsuits

In The Meaning of Sunglasses, a book about style that I really enjoyed, Hadley Freeman weighs in on a variety of fashion topics (ankle boots, the etiquette of beauty treatments, hem lengths) in a smart and entertaining way. However, when I went swimsuit shopping the other day I was haunted by one of her opinions. As Freeman wrote in the book, "A woman in a one-piece bathing suit is either a professional swimmer, someone with issues about the shape of her tummy, or someone traumatized by a missing bikini top accident."  

Now, I hate my body as much as the next girl, but in my old age I've come to realize that the odds of being chased down a beach by a bunch of 12-year-old boys making fun of my awkward body are slim. (They were not so slim when I was nine years old at the Richfield pool, but that's a story for another post.) So, to prove that I'm okay with my abdomen, I boldly hauled a bunch of two-pieces into the dressing room, including some so-called "tankinis," which Freeman thinks are the perfect compromise in that they cover more skin while not binding your chest. 

I tried on all the stuff and was sorely disappointed. Everything fit absurdly and looked ridiculous. There's not much else to say without straying into Cathy territory. Anyway, despite agreeing with Freeman on many of the points she made in her book, I wasn't sold at all on the "tankinis" (a word I can't stop putting in quotes because I find it really embarrassing.) There was something bulky and awkward about them, at least the ones I brought into the dressing room. 

The time had come, I decided, to try the one-piece. Could the style really be that dowdy? I grabbed two that didn't look completely elderly and went back to the dressing rooms. They were both great! One was fushia in a sort of "50's bombshell" style, and the other one was kind of like a very short halter dress. I didn't feel like a professional swimmer at all. 

Conclusion: Screw bikinis and tankinis--one-piece bathing suits are the best-kept secret in the world of swimwear.